New Photos!

New photos in new folder and old. Will write more when I have the use of both hands...

Photos!

We've posted photos on flickr (see sidebar)! Let us know if you have some too!

“If your birthday is today, take care that in your haste to get ahead in the world you don’t make an enemy of someone whose support you will need.”

We all get born. It happens to the best of us. It happens to the worst of us. If we're here, or were here, it happened. Some birth stories are stunningly beautiful, some are terrifying. As much as we tried not to have expectations, we did hope ours would be memorable. And indeed it was.

It all started around 2am on Sunday the 14th. I was having a dream that Sara and Michael, our friends and parents of three boys, were telling me what a contraction felt like. In the dream, this involved me experiencing what they were saying and I was getting very annoyed with them because it hurt. This, of course, is when I woke up and realized I was in early labour.

At this point I woke Kelsey and made him do the dishes. Then we had a shot of scotch and tried to sleep. At around 8am, I decided to have a warm bath, which slowed, and then stopped the contractions. From 10:30am to 7:30pm we napped, walked, made jam, made bread, and waited.

Finally, the contractions started again – this time with definite frequency and strength. I laboured through the evening and night, with a few five minute naps between contractions. Kasari stayed with us to take photos and help keep us both going. Her energy was amazing and it was fantastic to have her there. Early in the morning, our doula Kate also joined us – bringing with her an incredible bag of labouring tricks that really did get me through some of the more difficult moments (if you’ve never had a pool noodle rolled across your back after a contraction, you haven’t lived) .

At about 6am, our midwife Camille gracefully informed us that although my cervix was fully effaced (thinned), I was at only 1cm dilation. Still, she let me get in the pool, which felt like a day at the spa at this point. I remember opening my eyes a few minutes after getting in and feeling like it was the first time I had actually looked at anyone all night. Another five hours were spent there.

At around noon, our second midwife, Kelly, joined us. After a check, she presented us with the heartening news that I was fully effaced (thanks, we knew that five hours ago), contractions were strong (you think?), but I was still only 1cm dilated. This is when I cried. Or maybe it was when she told me I had to get out of the pool and start doing squats.

The next six hours were spent cajoling, bribing and tricking me into the positions I most wanted to avoid. At the end of which Kelly returned to check dilation once more. And then, still at one centimetre. off we went to the hospital. Once there, things moved pretty quickly. Since I was so far away from full dilation, and so damn tired, I opted for an epidural – thinking that we might still manage a vaginal birth. Once doped – and let me tell you that was truly as unpleasant an experience as you might imagine having a four inch needle stuck in your spine would be – they broke my waters and waited to see what would happen. Along with a dramatic spike in the force of the contractions (of which I was blissfully unaware, except to watch on the monitor), the baby’s heart rate started to respond negatively and it quickly became apparent that we were headed to a c-section. Although this was not at all the birth plan we had in mind, we felt we were getting all the information and given as many options as there were. In the end it was a pretty easy decision to make. From there, the whole thing took about an hour – ten minutes to prep me for surgery, ten minutes to pull the baby out and another half hour to stitch me up. An amazing process! Kelsey was able to be there with me and watched over the curtain as Jaya emerged. The doctors were wonderful – each of them introducing themselves and telling us bits of what was happening.

It was quite surreal meeting our baby in what seemed to be a blur of blue hospital gowns and bright lights – a far cry from our plan of candles and piano music in our own living room – but also extremely wonderful that we had the option to bring him so safely into the world. We are so grateful to Children’s and Women’s Hospital for their baby-friendly approach to birthing and for everyone who helped get Jaya “ahead in the world”.

Day After the Due Date

So, it's the day after the big due date, which of course means nothing, but still leaves me sitting here on the couch, wondering what to do now.

I'm thinking about re-covering the tacky cushions that came with our "glider". Or maybe making another felt rattle. Or maybe doing some cooking. What I'd really like to do is get at some of the bigger jobs like restocking our bookshelves, moving in to my studio upstairs or hacking up the concrete in the backyard, but since I can't actually pick up more than a kitchen chair, I'm a bit limited. Perhaps I'll walk a few blocks before the day's gravity kicks in and turns my waddle into a limp.

I just saw a video of Vancouver's newest baby beluga being born...I must say, Aurora makes it look easy. Of course, she was pregnant for 15 months, so I guess I should be careful what I wish for. For a little inspiration to all those pregnant and not, here's the video (see audio/video section on the right): http://www.cbc.ca/news/.

Giving Money Away

So, apparently, giving money away is addictive. It's also kind of embarrassing, 'cause you end up feeling so good about yourself, you start to wonder if you've managed to make it all about you again. Which of course, in a way, you have.

In an effort to stay off my feet and not get bored, I have been spending a fair amount of time checking out websites I've been saving to read and randomly following links that look interesting. Yesterday, this aimless endeavor took me to this site:

http://www.globalrichlist.com/

Turns out, as a family, we are obscenely rich. I started to feel sick. Then I remembered that we have a bank account full of money that was given to us by our wedding guests to do something good with. Just sitting there. Did I mention feeling sick? So, before I threw up in disgust, I decided to start spending it. As planned, we are using the money to support micro-credit loans through www.Kiva.org, a non-profit that supports entrepreneurs across the developing world.

Everyone has different ways of giving, and I don't want to push mine, but I do have to say that sitting in my house, learning about someone who needs a $450 loan to buy ingredients to expand their bakery business in Togo, and being able to contribute to that, is pretty crazy satisfying. I think my favourite thing is how the balance of power isn't all about handing out and standing back. They get to read about me, I get to read about them. They have a specific financial need and I have a specific financial surplus. When the "transaction" is complete and the loan repaid, they get to move on to new ventures with greater financial security and as part of a community that is made stronger by the investment, and I get to move on to new ventures as part of a community of lenders and with new ties to a part of the world I may never get to know otherwise. It's just really great.

Anyway, if you're sitting on a little bit of extra money, or even if you aren't right now, but might be sometime, think about micro-credit lending as a possibility. You, too, could feel embarasingly good about yourself.

Who do I think I am?

I have been meaning to write more often, but I've been distracted by the rebuilding of my website. It's been an interesting exercise, pulling myself together in one place. And as I went through the "final" version this morning, I realized that my online life may come across somewhat differently than my lived one. And this is making me think about which one I want to be real...

One of the things I hope to do in this first year of "mumming" is to try and reconnect with the making part of me. I'm under no illusion that I will have lots of time for crafting, but I also have no doubt that every day will be about learning and discovering. And I feel that, whoever this kid turns out to be, she or he deserves to be surrounded by curiosity.

To this end, I've been reading other people's blogs, planning the layout of my new little room with a view (the one upstairs that will be my "studio"....ooo, I can't believe I'm going to have a studio!), and getting a few small projects done while I wait for the big one to finish growing and decide to come meet us. I feel like there's more to talk about though, in terms of how we all balance our work and our love, our days and our nights - our hearts and our minds, I guess. I would love to hear from you (if anyone is out there) about how you do this, or how you don't, or how you'd like to.

Also, check out this film: http://www.whodoesshethinksheis.net/ - I haven't seen it yet, but it sounds like I should!