A Sheepish Return

Well, here I sit waiting for the next big event in our family's life. The arrival of baby two. And I'm thinking that's as good an excuse as any to update this erratic online record of our little lives!

The story these days is all about waiting.  So far, in waiting, I have frozen, pickled, canned, and dried. I have sewed curtains and mended. I have walked, acupunctured, acupressured, homeopathed, stretched, and shimmeyed. I have spent more time on Facebook than I could have imagined possible. But still no baby.  I suspect the midwives are correct when they say I'm probably a 42 week uterous, so really I still have a week before I'm "late", but still...it's getting boring.

I know in a matter of days (maybe hours? she writes hopefully...) I will wish to be back in this calm before the storm, wondering how I could not have enjoyed it more, and so I try to appreciate and savour. But there's something about waiting for a new life, a new family member, a new person in the world that makes it hard to concentrate on vacuuming!

Ah well.  Perhaps I can find something distracting on YouTube...

New Kid In Town

Well, it's official.  I have a new company and a new blog!  Not quite yet a new website, but coming soon...  Check it out at: www.goldenthreadstories.ca

I'll still be writing here, probably with the same irregularity.  But for all things narrative, Golden Thread Story's is the place to be!

See you there...

Daddy's Day

Just wanted to say, belatedly, happy father's day to all the fathers, papas, pops, daddys, and dads who I saw out and about yesterday enjoying their children and being an important part of their lives.  You are making our future better.  Thank you.

And to the dads I personally celebrate on this day. I love you.

Life as we know it...

The "You Are Here Room" at Daddy Longlegs Art Hotel in Cape Town

Well, so much for that!  Here we are back again almost a week, with one entry to show for a month's worth of travel.  Sigh.

A couple of reasons, really.  First off, internet connections were few and far between, and often slow.  Not that South Africa doesn't have internet service...just different expectations.  The generation of family that we were staying with aren't particularly well connected and we noticed that most public wireless connections we found out and about weren't actually available to the public.  So, a shift in thinking for us.  And a lot less internet time.

The second reason for my blogging absence is that this was a very quiet trip.  We had a lot of great time with family, many interesting conversations, lots of time sitting with people just being part of their day.  We also did drive around a bit seeing scenery and animals, but not in a grand way.  Just quiet.  That too, was an adjustment for me.  So, all in all, many stories, of the kind that will weave themselves into conversations and thoughts as they come.

And now it's back to life, as we know it...

Time flies!

Already gone ten days and only my first entry! Partly the busy days, partly the unpredictable nature of this place, partly the irratic Internet access. Certainly not for lack of material to write about!

The first 9 hour flight was actually pretty good. Jaya is a great traveller, when he's not refusing to sleep. We spent our first day in Amsterdam with Henk, lounging in his gorgeous garden by the canal and wandering the winding streets of his historic neighborhood. It was pretty much perfect.

After a very short night (Jaya was up at 2, ready for daytime), another flight, this one almost 12 hours. But again, not too bad. Jaya was happy and entertaining. Of course, he refused to sleep again, resisting until about half an hour before we arrived, when we had to wake him. I think he got a total of six hours of sleep in 48. I can't believe that's even possible, but true, nonetheless...

So, needless to say, it took us a few days to get back on track. But you can't sleep all day, so we still managed to squeeze in a few wine tastings, a trip to Franschoek, a bit of Cape Town shopping, some tying up of loose work ends and lots of family visiting.

And in the last week - we've toured around Cape Point, visited Kirstenbosh gardens, hiked on Table Mountain, shopped, eaten amazing food, and visited lots with family. How's that for a summary?

So yes, we're having fun and seeing lots. But more than that, even walking down the familiar streets around Athe's house, the common theme is how present dad feels here. So amazing to watch Jaya charming everyone and see their reactions to him mirroring what I can so easily imagine would be dad's. The same expressions, the funny faces and playfulness with little ones that was his best stuff. It's nourishing, somehow, and somewhat unexpectedly.

Well, that's it for now. Photos to come.

The storm before the calm

Heading to South Africa in three days!  I had 30 things on my to-do list just for today.  There are still 10 on there, not including the ones I moved to tomorrow, 'cause they just weren't going to happen.  Bleh.

But three days from now, we will be on our way, with only limited ability to do anything more.  Somehow not as comforting as I hoped that thought would be.  But I still have three days.  And it's amazing what you can do in three days. 

Stay tuned for more on the adventures of us in Africa...coming soon to a blog near you...

Go Well, Kali Girl

1996-2011

We love you, Kali.  Go well.

Walking

Who knew?  Turns out this year is just not at all, even the tiniest bit, about me.  It is not about baking more bread and making more time for myself.  It is not, so far, a great year.  It's not even a good year.  It's been a shitty year, actually, so far. 

I'm not sure if I've quoted this before, but it bears repeating.  “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” (Elizabeth Stone).  To this I would add, making the decision to love is momentous.  Anyone.  Anything.  Making the decision to love is making the decision to relinquish and accept.  And loss is the consequence.


This year, so far, I have lost a dear friend, a water heater, my husband's ability to move his jaw for the next six weeks, my dog's health, jaya's chickenpox-free status, the brake pads on our van, and quite a bit of water in the form of tears.  Also, probably, some of the pigment in my hair.  It's been a hell of a year, so far. 

And yet, so far, I am not lying on the floor in a catatonic state.  I feel loved and supported.  I feel blessed to have in my life all the people and things and circumstances that make the possibility of their loss so, well, inevitable. They are worth it.

Actually, I take it back.  This year is about me.  Of course it is.  I'm the one living it.  It's just not about me being in control.  I think, maybe, it's about letting my heart go walking.

There is Snow In My View

 

Well, thank you January, for kicking my self-satisfied ass.

The first couple weeks back to work were, in a word, yuck.  Super stressful, demoralizing, frustrating, hearthurting yuck.  It involved a bunch of decision making, some tears and hard words, some fence mending and apologizing, some pride swallowing, some long term thinking, and finally, the postponement of our trip to South Africa.  Because of a university policy I wasn't aware of, I had to choose between the trip as we had planned it and my extremely part-time job.  I chose to stay and am very much hoping that will prove a well-made decision.  And now we are going to South Africa in the winter to plant mango trees (for dad).  Sigh.

Also, I have realized that despite my plan that this would be year about bread and time for me, I have learned, in short order, that it is also going to be a year about difficult working relationships.  My work life is offering me up some significant challenges I haven't encountered before and since I have nothing else to do, I thought maybe I'd take them on.  Or maybe it's because I'm an idiot.  Either way, on we go.

As for the rest of my life, it's just fine.  Jaya continues to be awesome and two, which is hilarious most of the time, and occasionally not;  K- and I continue to work on our stuff which is mostly not hilarious, but occasionally amuses others; the house continues to loom unfinished and wanting; the mice continue to dance across the kitchen floor.  Literally.

But, thankfully, inspiration continues to appear most randomly.  Case in point, with thanks to Sarah: http://summerpierre.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/reflections-on-a-year-of-motherhood/

And that, my friends, is the view from here, and there.

About to Begin

 

Well, it has been a while!

I won't recap, except to say that Christmas was wonderful this year - calmer than most, surprisingly, given the toddler in the house - and filled with just the right balance of making, eating, sharing, giving, eating, receiving, visiting, and eating.  Yes, just the right balance.  Yum.

And now I'm starting to think of the new year about to begin.  I actually love this time of year, starting with the grand gesture to close a year that is Christmas and finishing up with a beginning.  At the risk of sounding culturally simplistic, I love that this whole part of the world celebrates together in our own homes and in our own little ways.

The start of a new year, for me, is a full embrace of the cliche of it all.  New beginnings, new ideas, new hopes.  I make resolutions, not because I think I should be better and January is the only time to make that happen, but because I like the setting of intention and the focusing of energy on some aspect of my life that I think I can enjoy even more.  Because let's face it, it's a bit ridiculous how much I get to enjoy my life.


So this year, my intention is to focus our home and family on less consumption and more production.  More bread will be made, more recycling of materials into new things we can use again, more creating.  Less buying.  This last one is really about me, not this family, since I'm the shopper, and it's a hard habit to break.  I don't expect this will be the last year I make this resolution.  But I do expect to have a good time trying.  And you know I won't do it if it's not fun, right?

My second intention is to make more time for myself.  I'm putting it in writing now - I plan to get away by myself for one overnight at least every couple of months this year!  A recent trip to Seattle with Emma made me realize how much I need this time.  I came back with so much more patience and energy.  I think this is the one thing that's hard for me about having embarked on this whole partner and family thing so quickly and fully.  (and really, it is just one thing, so I'm not actually complaining...!).  But for someone used to being on their own, suddenly being so entirely connected to the wellbeing of others can be kind of overwhelming.

So, more bread and time away.  What a good year it's going to be!

For the Love of Basil

Last week, we held another Flavour Bible Sunday.  My sister was our guest.  Basil was our flavour.  And with no further ado, here is the menu...

Basil Martini - Blended ice with vodka, 1 whole lemon, about a teaspoon of sugar and some basil leaves.  Mixed about half and half with tonic water in a short martini glass.  Delicious!

Appetizer - fresh baked egg bread, homemade mozzerella balls, tomatos from our garden and basil (bought, not grown, since we just used all of ours to make pesto!), drizzled with balsamic and olive oil.  Yum yum yum.

 Main Course - ravioli we made ourselves, stuffed with mushrooms (crimini and portobello), goat cheese and...basil, of course!  Topped off with pesto (ours was basil, Kasari's was red pepper).  Both fantastic.

And for dessert....blueberry and basil compote with ricotta cheese.  Guests were suspicious, but won over in the end.

I really do have to work on my photographs - they're always a case of "oh no!  we didn't take a picture!  stop eating!"  Hopefully next time, I'll do the food justice.  In the meantime, you'll just have to trust me.  It was fan-friggin-tastic.

How unimportant

I just read a lovely little blog post that I want to share.  Actually, I can't decide if it's entirely lovely, because it points up something that disturbs me, but also comforts.  It's an odd thing.  The post is about how nothing in the writer's life is actually important, including plastic, his car, his tv, etc.  Which is disturbing at face value.  When he explains why, of course, it's not really the object, but what it enables in his life, and the things that "really matter" come shining through.  But still, he is left realizing that it's all important.

It got me thinking. 

Anyway, read it, if you have a minute (it's short), and see what you think.

http://shavingsanddust.blogspot.com/2010/07/importance.html

Not enough days on the beach

Coming to the end of the summer as we are, I am only just now realizing that we have spent far too few days at the beach. Today, at least, we were there. And loving it. Happy birthday Cole!

A couple kinds of First Steps

So, Jaya took his first steps on Friday!  We were in the doctor's office for his immunizations and he just let go of my leg and took two and a half steps forward. He was probably trying to make a break for it, but still, it was very exciting.  He did it a couple more times through the day.  And hasn't done it since.  Oh well.  I'm still thrilled.  I figure he was probably distracted by the fun of folk fest and all that dancing (which he does brilliantly and at every opportunity), so we'll see what the week holds now that things have settled a bit.

The second first step was mine and Kasari's.  I haven't talked about it here before but my sister's kidneys are failing her and she is going to need a transplant sometime soon.  We don't know if it's a matter of months or a year or more, but we do know she'll need one.  Actually, we know she'll need more than one, since a transplanted kidney only lasts 8 to 15 years (ish...it's hard to nail anyone down on this one), but that's for the future.  For now, we're on the hunt for a healthy kidney.  So I went for my first compatibility test a couple of weeks ago and found out yesterday that we're a blood match.  Which is wonderful news. 

There are still a million steps, or so it seems, to take before we know if this will work, how it would work, and what our other options are, but this first one was kind of a deal breaker and I am so glad it means our doors are still open.

So, first steps all 'round.  And you can be sure that updates will follow on all fronts...

The View From Here

Another new theme. Just a photograph and maybe a word or two about the view from here. Whereever here is today.



And where better to start than on the front porch couch, under the cherry tree, in the sunshine...

Flavour Bible Sundays

No, we haven't found god over the weekend.  Although, if god was to be found, I'm quite certain it would be folded into beautiful fresh food and hiding behind excellent company. 

We have a book called the Flavor Bible that we pull out every once and awhile, although strangely always on a Sunday, open up to a random page, and choose a food to build our menu on.  The beauty of this book is that is provides an extensive list of ingredients, each followed by a long list of flavours that go well with said ingredient.  There are no recipes, although a few sample menus and photographs sometimes help stimulate the imagination, but the flavour combinations are all the inspiration we need. 

Yesterday's food was figs.  Completely random and completely perfect, since the fresh fig is just coming into season and had just arrived at our local grocery store that day!  So, we invited my sister and Kelsey's brother and this is what we ate:

• Fig Supreme Cocktails to start
• Fig Salad with goat cheese, raspberries, walnuts, proscuttio (for the meat eaters), and arugula (although I actually forgot the arugula - but I think it would be good!)
• Pear and Ricotta Pizza with caramelized onions
• and Roasted Figs (in butter, brown sugar and a dash of wine) with Creme Fresh (mixed with maple syrup and Grand Marnier) for dessert

Yum!

We call these Flavour Bible Sundays, but I think we need a slightly catchier name, so I'm working on that.  I think this requires a new label, don't you?

Bringing some order to bear....

I've been labeling things lately. It's very satisfying and helps me feel like I know what's what. Or at least, if I don't know what it is, at least what to call it.

And as I've been thinking about this blog, which I've also been doing lately, I realize I keep coming up with good "labels". Things like, "loving where I live" or "people are weird". Of course, you may have noticed that I'm not actually writing the blog entries that go with these labels, but I could. And I'm thinking I will try.

So, as you may notice, I've decided to give my posts some labels.  And I hope to add a few more grand themes over the coming weeks.  Stay tuned for more labeling madness, coming soon, to a blog near you...

Dad's Day

Today I thought a lot about my dad. How much he would have loved to know Jaya and see me being a mum. I spent some time today being sad, and missing him. I imagined a few of the conversations we might have had over the picnic lunch we usually went in for. That always helps, because no matter how sentimental those imaginary conversations start out, I can never quite ignore the sardonic comment he probably would have ended with. And thankfully, that makes me laugh.

And of course, we managed to squeeze in a bit of celebrating for Kels today too, before he went off to tell the world (or at least, Main Street) about his new bikes. And I definitely also thought, today, about how wonderful Jaya's papa is and what a lucky boy he is to have Kels in his life.

So happy dad's day to all. Hope you all had reason to celebrate or remember or both.

Lickety Split

And then, home.

From Edinburgh, it was train ride to Glasgow, then a plane ride to Vancouver. Jaya took it all in stride, especially loving all the kids on our flight (although I'm not sure the child-less passengers were quite so thrilled). So, I would say a successful traveler, this one.

Of course, it's taking us a few days to get our sleep legs back. Thought we were on track, but last night was a bit of derailment, so we'll see...And so, home again and all the same preoccupations.

June marks the beginning of a different time though. Although I'm not going back to Cap U until September, I'm considering myself back to work part-time (the lack of a paycheque is no deterrent...at least, not yet) and so busy trying to arrange childcare and figure out how I'm going to define my days. I'm excited, though, and very ready, to own a part of my day again. So, some new preoccupations are on the horizon and they're looking pretty shiny from here.

Being away was wonderful, but coming home is, in the end, the best part of all. This life is just simply a great one to have.

If it's not Scottish, it's CRAP!

We spent the first afternoon in Edinburgh taking advantage of Lois' excitement to see Jaya...leaving him with her for a couple precious hours on our own.

On our way up the Royal Mile we took in the ridiculous amount of touristy tartan trash and the equally ridiculously beautiful stretches of seriously old style...and then just happened to bump into the Tarbottons on the corner and had tea. Of course.


The next day, we headed to the island of Lismore for a couple of nights of slow and cosy farm living. We joined Archie, his daugher Ann, her husband John, and her sons. Archie's other daughter Sarah was there as well, with her sons, for lunch, and the moment we walked in we felt like part of the family. Bread, cheese and tea on the table, sheep and furry cows wandering around outside the window. Absolutely perfect. It felt like more than just a day and a half, but we managed to cover a good part of the island...having a tour of Sarah's lovely studio on the sea (during which I happily adopted one Lavinia), taking in the one general store and the one cafe on our travels (of course), along with most of the sights (which are surprisingly plentiful for such a small island, I might add).






Despite hearing that the airports might close again (go volcano go!), we did have to head back on Tuesday, but we took a meandering route to allow for a tour of the Oban distillery, a scenic drive through the highland moors, lunch and a charity shop in Callender, a drive-by wave at two of the castles that appear in the Monty Python movies, and a self-guided tour of the Falkirk Wheel. Jaya was a road-tripping star, which was really what made it all possible.



That night was one of the much-anticipated highlights. An evening out. Even though we didn't get out of the house until 9pm and only managed dinner, it was still everything I had hoped and dreamed. We went to the recommended David Bann (thanks Zoe!) and were suitably thrilled by everything. Super yummy flavours, awesome combinations, gorgeous looking plates. We had wine, we talked, we canoodled. It was like a real date. With a curfew and guaranteed middle-of-the-night wakings by small screaming child, but still.

On our last day in Edinburgh, we managed to combine quite a number of city highlights with a leisurely pace, which was just right for a last day. We headed up Arthur's Seat with Lois and Archie, romped on the grass in the gorgeous sun (our first really warm day the entire trip), had lunch at the Sheep's Heed (just the oldest pub in Scotland, don'cha know), took a tour of Edinburgh's secret garden (I'd tell you where it is, but then I'd have to, you know, kill you), went downtown to one of the national galleries, wandered through Princess Gardens, took a double decker bus home, ate dinner, packed our bags, and crashed.