New Kid In Town

Well, it's official.  I have a new company and a new blog!  Not quite yet a new website, but coming soon...  Check it out at: www.goldenthreadstories.ca

I'll still be writing here, probably with the same irregularity.  But for all things narrative, Golden Thread Story's is the place to be!

See you there...

Daddy's Day

Just wanted to say, belatedly, happy father's day to all the fathers, papas, pops, daddys, and dads who I saw out and about yesterday enjoying their children and being an important part of their lives.  You are making our future better.  Thank you.

And to the dads I personally celebrate on this day. I love you.

Life as we know it...

The "You Are Here Room" at Daddy Longlegs Art Hotel in Cape Town

Well, so much for that!  Here we are back again almost a week, with one entry to show for a month's worth of travel.  Sigh.

A couple of reasons, really.  First off, internet connections were few and far between, and often slow.  Not that South Africa doesn't have internet service...just different expectations.  The generation of family that we were staying with aren't particularly well connected and we noticed that most public wireless connections we found out and about weren't actually available to the public.  So, a shift in thinking for us.  And a lot less internet time.

The second reason for my blogging absence is that this was a very quiet trip.  We had a lot of great time with family, many interesting conversations, lots of time sitting with people just being part of their day.  We also did drive around a bit seeing scenery and animals, but not in a grand way.  Just quiet.  That too, was an adjustment for me.  So, all in all, many stories, of the kind that will weave themselves into conversations and thoughts as they come.

And now it's back to life, as we know it...

Time flies!

Already gone ten days and only my first entry! Partly the busy days, partly the unpredictable nature of this place, partly the irratic Internet access. Certainly not for lack of material to write about!

The first 9 hour flight was actually pretty good. Jaya is a great traveller, when he's not refusing to sleep. We spent our first day in Amsterdam with Henk, lounging in his gorgeous garden by the canal and wandering the winding streets of his historic neighborhood. It was pretty much perfect.

After a very short night (Jaya was up at 2, ready for daytime), another flight, this one almost 12 hours. But again, not too bad. Jaya was happy and entertaining. Of course, he refused to sleep again, resisting until about half an hour before we arrived, when we had to wake him. I think he got a total of six hours of sleep in 48. I can't believe that's even possible, but true, nonetheless...

So, needless to say, it took us a few days to get back on track. But you can't sleep all day, so we still managed to squeeze in a few wine tastings, a trip to Franschoek, a bit of Cape Town shopping, some tying up of loose work ends and lots of family visiting.

And in the last week - we've toured around Cape Point, visited Kirstenbosh gardens, hiked on Table Mountain, shopped, eaten amazing food, and visited lots with family. How's that for a summary?

So yes, we're having fun and seeing lots. But more than that, even walking down the familiar streets around Athe's house, the common theme is how present dad feels here. So amazing to watch Jaya charming everyone and see their reactions to him mirroring what I can so easily imagine would be dad's. The same expressions, the funny faces and playfulness with little ones that was his best stuff. It's nourishing, somehow, and somewhat unexpectedly.

Well, that's it for now. Photos to come.

The storm before the calm

Heading to South Africa in three days!  I had 30 things on my to-do list just for today.  There are still 10 on there, not including the ones I moved to tomorrow, 'cause they just weren't going to happen.  Bleh.

But three days from now, we will be on our way, with only limited ability to do anything more.  Somehow not as comforting as I hoped that thought would be.  But I still have three days.  And it's amazing what you can do in three days. 

Stay tuned for more on the adventures of us in Africa...coming soon to a blog near you...

Go Well, Kali Girl

1996-2011

We love you, Kali.  Go well.

Walking

Who knew?  Turns out this year is just not at all, even the tiniest bit, about me.  It is not about baking more bread and making more time for myself.  It is not, so far, a great year.  It's not even a good year.  It's been a shitty year, actually, so far. 

I'm not sure if I've quoted this before, but it bears repeating.  “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” (Elizabeth Stone).  To this I would add, making the decision to love is momentous.  Anyone.  Anything.  Making the decision to love is making the decision to relinquish and accept.  And loss is the consequence.


This year, so far, I have lost a dear friend, a water heater, my husband's ability to move his jaw for the next six weeks, my dog's health, jaya's chickenpox-free status, the brake pads on our van, and quite a bit of water in the form of tears.  Also, probably, some of the pigment in my hair.  It's been a hell of a year, so far. 

And yet, so far, I am not lying on the floor in a catatonic state.  I feel loved and supported.  I feel blessed to have in my life all the people and things and circumstances that make the possibility of their loss so, well, inevitable. They are worth it.

Actually, I take it back.  This year is about me.  Of course it is.  I'm the one living it.  It's just not about me being in control.  I think, maybe, it's about letting my heart go walking.

There is Snow In My View

 

Well, thank you January, for kicking my self-satisfied ass.

The first couple weeks back to work were, in a word, yuck.  Super stressful, demoralizing, frustrating, hearthurting yuck.  It involved a bunch of decision making, some tears and hard words, some fence mending and apologizing, some pride swallowing, some long term thinking, and finally, the postponement of our trip to South Africa.  Because of a university policy I wasn't aware of, I had to choose between the trip as we had planned it and my extremely part-time job.  I chose to stay and am very much hoping that will prove a well-made decision.  And now we are going to South Africa in the winter to plant mango trees (for dad).  Sigh.

Also, I have realized that despite my plan that this would be year about bread and time for me, I have learned, in short order, that it is also going to be a year about difficult working relationships.  My work life is offering me up some significant challenges I haven't encountered before and since I have nothing else to do, I thought maybe I'd take them on.  Or maybe it's because I'm an idiot.  Either way, on we go.

As for the rest of my life, it's just fine.  Jaya continues to be awesome and two, which is hilarious most of the time, and occasionally not;  K- and I continue to work on our stuff which is mostly not hilarious, but occasionally amuses others; the house continues to loom unfinished and wanting; the mice continue to dance across the kitchen floor.  Literally.

But, thankfully, inspiration continues to appear most randomly.  Case in point, with thanks to Sarah: http://summerpierre.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/reflections-on-a-year-of-motherhood/

And that, my friends, is the view from here, and there.