A spring in my step

These days it feels like spring, but there are reminders of winter still. And, I'm sure, at least a few grey days ahead yet. For now, though, some lovely sunshine against the window panes.

We've had many many nights of very little sleep and still, somehow, we're functioning. Lots of new things every day. Jaya is crawling now. He put two and two together and learned the right forward motion last week and since then has been learning what it's all good for. He now easily entertains himself beetling from one object to the next, pulling things down on top of himself and bonking his head repeatedly on the floor. We haven't had a splinter yet, but it's only a matter of time. And so, of course, a new floor is our current distraction. Ah, home ownership.

I am definitely in a springtime mood. Lots of ideas and not nearly enough time. I have yet some christmas presents to complete and send (can I still call them christmas presents?) and then on to all the other possible projects. Food, these days, is one of those. Somehow making food for Jaya feels so much more like a project than just a daily chore. Which is a good thing, I guess. It feels like a unique challenge to me to provide this child with his necessary nutrition. Today I made applesauce and rice pudding with toasted sweet brown rice, ground and boiled. And he liked it. Joy! For me, there was granola made last weekend and already almost depleted. My goal for the next couple months is to get far enough ahead of myself that I can start preparing for the return to work - freezing things, starting good meal planning habits, regular vacuuming. Dream big, I always say...

And that's the report on this January morning. Hope you're all enjoying the air out there...

Embracing Routine

I love the start of a new year, despite the weather that usually accompanies it, and I'm not ashamed to admit I love resolutions. Not the "will lose weight" kind, but the kind that make me really think about what I want for my life and the year ahead. This year, not surprisingly, I have lots to think about. It will be a year in which Jaya goes from baby blob to active toddler. A year in which we really start to discover his personality and learn ever more about ourselves as parents. It will also be a year, hopefully, of simplifying our lives...or maybe not simplifying...maybe just streamlining. It is my hope, and here I put it in writing, to be living in just one place by the end of the year. Hope, I say, not expectation, since I'm trying to let go of that one, but hope, nonetheless. But back to resolutions that are within my control...

This year, as for the last many, I resolve to Embrace Inconvenience. Every year this is a reminder to myself that the "convenience" of our wealthy western lives comes at a huge cost to the planet and our coinhabitants. So, when I'm sorting through messy recycling or stirring compost in the rain or remembering to walk or straining Jaya's pears or whatever picky little thing I'm doing and feeling crabby about, I try to remember why I'm doing it. And not only that, but Enjoy It. Because I'm also resolved not to spend much time doing stuff I don't enjoy. So, okay, I almost never stir the compost, but if and when I do, I will try to appreciate the exercise, or the smell of wet leaves, or just the pleasure of knowing that big pile of rotting yuckiness will one day feed the garden I will one day get around to growing.

And for this year, I have made a new resolution, that never, in years past, would have occurred to me: Embrace The Routine. I hate routines. I have never had them. Probably the only one I have consistently had in my life is to brush my teeth in the morning and before bed. My morning tea comes close, but it's not every day and sometimes it's coffee. But then along came Jaya. And it turns out that babies, and I'm imagining the same is true for small children, demand routines. I've tried to do without. But on days without a routine I inevitably forget at least one of Jaya's meals, I'm late getting him to a nap, I forget to pump for the reserve bottle, I'm still in my pyjamas at noon, etc, etc. While none of these are devastating once and awhile, they're pretty discouraging day after day. And so, the routine. We're still working on what it will be, and it's an ever evolving thing, but still, there's a structure there that's both foreign and reassuring to this new mum. And this year, I will embrace it. And by embrace, I mean enjoy. There's that word again.

So perhaps all of this can be summed up as : This year I will Enjoy My Life As Much As I Can, As Often As I Can. Amen.

Home Sweet

Just a short post to report that a warm house with things baking in the oven and three generations merrily preparing for the holidays in their own way (including one cosily napping) is really all one could wish for on a rainy day such as this. Hope you're all finding ways to celebrate each other.

Some Updates

Made a few changes to the formatting and added a slideshow - so I hope you like it!

I've had cause today, not for any reason except that someone mentioned it, to think about the rapidly upcoming transition from Jaya as a baby to Jaya as a toddler. I don't know when the official change happens, but for me it seems to have something to do with mobility. Since Jaya has been practicing his plank and downward dog for awhile now, and is already schootching himself backward, I'm thinking he may well be crawling soon.

Anyway, it's been interesting today to think about how that's going to feel. Kelsey is certainly looking forward to it as a time for him to have more of an active role. And I am definitely excited about that, as well as just the greatness of every new thing this kid does. But there is a part of me that knows it's going to be hard to watch him take risks with his body and not try to shield him from "danger". I am a far-too cautious person and there are plenty of times I have wished for not only greater courage, but also the kind of body awareness that makes risk taking advisable.

I know a kid who is extremely athletic and comfortable in his own skin and I have no problem letting his climb to the top of the flag pole (which he's done a several occasions the minute I turn around), because I know he's the kind of person who can assess the risk, assess his own abilities and make a measured choice. This is exactly what I wish for Jaya. But being the kind of person who is both unsure of the real risk and untrusting of my own abilities, it's very hard to imagine how to teach these things. Although his dad is much better at that, it's still part of my job too and I realize I need to learn some new things myself as we go along into this. But I guess that's the definition of parenthood, after all...

So much for 100

Oh well. I've been working on other things, so that's how it goes. And here, finally are a couple of the things I've been working on...



The headboard is a project that took me about 3 months to actually complete, with each step spread out over evenings when Jaya would sleep or afternoons with his papa. It's three old shutters from the ReStore, secured together and painted. Really, not such a complicated project, but there you have it. I have to say it looks better in real life...I really do need a better flash for my camera...

And the Happy Birthday Banner is my new favourite craft project. I can already think of a million applications, and I already know I'll be lucky if I do even one more...sigh.

Also, I've decided I'm going to add a new column to the right (look that way ---->) highlighting a website I like every once and awhile. I seem to be doing a lot of internet-ing these days, and it's continuously amazing to me what I find out there. So I think I'll share.

And finally, here's a photo from our weekend. Hilarious!

What vertigo will do

Thursday was lost to a bout of vertigo (neck alignment issues, yuck!), and part of Friday too, but having recovered, I find I am full-er of pep and vigour than I have been in a long time. Finished our headboard, finally (which I promised photos of and cannot deliver tonight...I keep forgetting to take a shot in the daytime), got through a lot of sorting in my upstairs "studio" (I must decide on a good name for this space), and started a fun little gift for samuel wyatt yuen harstone, who is about to turn one year old (will post photos, eventually). I also took possession of a shared serger, learned how to use it, and have started planning christmas gifts galore!

This is a mixed time of year for me. Dad died on December 12th last year and that has changed this season for us all, at least a little bit. But I also love christmas, when I can do it the way I like - which is to make things for people I love, see as many of them as possible, and wear fancy dresses. So on I go, in the spirit of dad in his best moments, trying to remember to enjoy all the many luxuries I have in my possession...a cozy place to sleep, hot tea in the morning, cool whiskey in the evening and lots of family and friends in between.

Speaking of whom, I have posted some new photos, finally, on flikr. The style page boasts a shot of a new sweater (thanks Annabelle!), the village page shows some new (and old) visitors, and the faces page includes some of his maturing visage...enjoy!

Busy but good

Busy weekend, very satisfying. Photos to follow. (only 7 words, I know, but way past time for bed...!)

Grandmas to the rescue

After a night of very little sleep and a day spent wandering around in the rain waiting for a repair to our van that never happened, I should be exhausted and grumpy. And yes, I am exhausted, but thanks to two wonderful grandmas, not so grumpy. They granted me three whole hours of sleep, whisking Jaya away for some shopping, then brought home dinner, left me a car to get to Bellingham in and took the dog so I don't have to worry about walking her for the next few days. Now that's something to be grateful for, this evening before American thanksgiving.

So tonight, a little blessing for grandmas everywhere. Praise be for your tending, tea-making, tidying, and treasuring.

Such luck

On my own tonight, I think I am especially aware of the enormous change this child has brought into my life. I am sitting in the living room where I have sat so many nights, on my own, with others, early and late. And yet, everything is different because he is here.

Some days, most days actually, it's a leap of faith to realize that the tiny child asleep in our bed is someone we created. Someone we are responsible for, and to, for the rest of our lives.

When he cries, and I have to stop what I'm doing to comfort, it's annoying or exhausting or at the very least emotionally draining, and then, when he's comforted and his little face relaxes and his head nods back on my arm, the drool running down his chin and the smile flickering in sleep, it really is like love overtakes my heart and makes it stop just for a moment, in awe perhaps, at how much feeling it is possible to have. And that is the warm thought I take with me to sleep tonight.

Eventually, the second one hundred (or thereabouts)

Well, so much for hundred words a day. We have had a blip in the sleep schedule, and it seemed wiser to catch what rest I could than to write about my lack of it. So a break was necessary.

And now I find I am having trouble knowing what I want to write about anyway. I am writing sentences, deleting them, writing others, and deleting those. Much like my rare moments of "free time" these days, I have stored up so much for these few minutes, I can't sort out which ones I want to unpack first and end up tumbling around unproductively for the duration. I think tonight is just the warm up, then, getting me here again, and hoping to bring me back tomorrow. Oh, and I have photos to upload - another task for tomorrow...but here's one in the meantime, anyway...our pumpkin at four months...